Saturday, September 19, 2009

Mr. and Mrs. Arrogant

I'm going to be seventeen in December, now what do you think an almost seventeen year old would be doing at this time in her life? Hmm? Driving? Getting her first car? Having an after-school job and saving up for college?

Living a typical teenage life?

Well, guess what I'm not.

I don't even have my freaken driver's permit!!!

I probably won't until I'm freaken twenty!

And i am completely serious.

Dead. Serious.

You know, parents are the most arrogant son of a bitches ever. I mean do any of them ever freaken listen to their kids? Because I don't know if they get that even though we're young and they've been here longer doesn't mean we're all not all human beings. Real people who can think and not always just fucking rebellious brats that don't have minds. and you can quote me.

This is how my parents think of me. And i have my older siblings to thank for that. It's because they turned their lives into utter crap is because I can't live mine! Since my sister got her driver's licence she's been in like four car crashes. Now my parents think that if I get a car then I will go all crazy and crash things and cause havoc!

Do i seem like that sort of person? Hell freaken no! I said in my third post of this blog that I have no temptation what's so ever to get into trouble. Hell! I've even drove before with my sister and her boyfriend and I drove like a grandma!

It's like they don't even know me. I am so different from my siblings that I'm sometimes think I was adopted. I actually did when I was about the age of five. Today, when my father drew me to tears of frustration and anger, my friend had to comfort me as I was staying at her house.

There are so many reasons I NEED a car.

1. This bitchy black girl hates me and causes my whole bus to be extremely frightened of her.
2. I do not like freshman.
3. Everyone in my grade is getting a car or their licence already!
4. I am in serious need of a job.
5. If I have a job I save up for college.
6. I need a car so I won't be constantly near my parents because they are tearing me up inside (read past blogs to understand this).


Get the freaken picture?

Because my parents don't seem to.

They even told my friend (the phone was on speaker and I was refusing to talk to her so she did on my behalf) that they weren't ready to let me go. Well FUCKING TOUGH!

One question for my oh so suffocating parents: Do you really want to be around me so much when I FUCKING HATE YOUR FUCKING BLOODY GUTS!

Because believe me I'm getting there.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Poetry for the Poet

I started this blog on account of I wanted to bring out the injustice that a distant cousin's parents had when my cousin was murdered. How they just let the guy who killed him go free. It got me so angry that i just wanted to scream it to the whole world. Yet later I came back to my blog and started talking about my life and how ridicules it really is and i also wanted to show people my poetry. Well, after looking over my posts I realized i haven't posted much of my poetry here so I've decided to get to it now. Hope you like it.

(Some other poems about the boy that walked away...)

Not Enough

As I stand there
My lips tremble
My eyes show fear

The clock is ticking
And time starts to disappear

I’m dangling by a thread
My grasp is slipping
My arm grows numb
My fingers
They are bleeding
Scarlett covers my eyes
My tears can’t seem to wash them away

The clock is ticking
And time starts to disappear

My voice is no more
Just like my heart
It stops beating
And now I am falling
And now I am falling
Into a well
I am screaming
Running towards hell
My body burns
With the hurt of despair
It crashes!


Sorry, I got to go. Have a great summer!


The clock continues to tick
And like time… I wish I could disappear

(I came up with this when it was raining and i was heading for my second period, it was the third day of school and I finally saw him. By the time I got out of the rain I was drenched but I didn't care, all i was focus on doing at the time was trying to keep the poem in my head until i could get a pen and paper to write it down. The poem came to me like wind blowing in my hair as I watched him)


Standing in the rain
Watching you walk away
Rain drops mixed with tears, dribbling down my face
Peaceful sadness fills the air.

(I wrote this poem on account of I only see him for like a minute a day)


I breathe in your scent
Relishing the moments we have
My grasp, desperate and famished
I never want to part

I can’t get enough of you
You suffocate me with your presence
Strangle me with your intelligence
And burn me with the devotion I harbor for you
I am yours

Yet do you fathom this?
Catch the truth behind my eyes
And see behind the disguise?
That my feelings grow deeper
Then infatuation or lust
Friendship and trust
It could only be love, though, one sided

Except your feelings, will only ever be platonic
For the likes of me
But a gal can dream
Yes, she may even scheme
Only to catch glimpse of him…

Every day, for just a few seconds

(I wrote this last one after watching Knowing)


Fire roaring with laughter

It consumes us all; Like a deadly sin

The laughter will never stop

It has no mercy

No pity; None at all