Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Am I amusing to them?

Either Fates hates me or Fate really enjoys seeing me squirm, jump up and down in frustration or etc. because seriously when does this ever happen to normal people?
Last week I got into a heated (very loud and public) argument (fight is more of the word... there was some pushing) with...
Boy Who Walked Away.
Boy Who Broke My Heart A Year And Some Months ago.
Boy Who Apparently Harbors Short Term Memory Loss Because He Acts Like Nothing Happen!
Boy Who's In Two Of My Classes But Hardly Acknowledges Me!!!
Or should I say then?
Anyway, like I was saying we got in a fight. About what you say? Get this, A BOOK.
Yes, I your crazy/lovable/wonderfully confused blogger got in a fight with her crush for two and a half years finally grew some balls and had a more than one syllable conversation (correction: fight) with the boy of her dreams/nightmares over. A. BOOK.
In the words of my idol, Jessica Darling: Susan Falludie Bullshit!
I mean how dumb and twisted not to mention hellishly ironic is that???
A lot. To much to seem even the slightest sane for reality. Though I must admit reality has never been my strongest subject of expertise. Oh hell what do I know about reality anyways? Nothing. Zip. Zero. In fact I'm pretty sure I lost the sight of reality at the age of three. So maybe the whole scenario could have been predicted.
Enough of my babble. Here's what happen as I witnessed and lived through it:
Scene: Nine something in the morning (I'm sorry I don't look at the clock every second). My AP Lang class had begun and in walks the teacher announcing to us all to find the other people in our book group (earlier the teacher had given us a list of five books to choose from and we had to pick one to read, test over, then have a group discussion with the other people that had chose the book as well).
If I had been smarter and thinking with my heart I would have read the Holocaust book that caught my true attention but no. Unfortunately, I happen to be absent the day my class originally picked their book for which they had the disadvantage of choosing a book that they picked on their own terms and not of their friends (everyone couldn't talk to their friends and negotiate a mutual book they were all reading) but this is where my advantage was. My teacher had already made a list of kids who picked a book and she let me an this other girl that hadn't been there pick having seen all the names of the people that had already been placed in reading the books. So naturally, like the sneaky devil I am, to a gander at the names under each book and eventually found Boy Who Walked Away, looked at the book he chose to read and chose the same one seeing it as a ploy to talk to him. Okay, mind you this had been like what? Four weeks ago? Five? I have no idea and don't give a crap. All I can do to explain to you readers is that I was, in a way... under the influence... of love.
I know, gag me.
But I was under the influence of the idea of talking and even if that didn't happen I was at least near him in a confide circle with him. Anyway this desion had happen before I had ever came up with the resolution and getting over Boy Who Walked Away. So of course that day I was paying the price for my actions and ultimately my opinions, tendency to voice them out, and that big red fat arrow pointing down on me that says Victim on it that only Boy Who Walked Away can read!!!
Back to scene: My AP classmates eagerly go and find the people in our reading groups and line up the chairs in little circles having at most five people in each. In my circle, other then Boy Who Walked Away and I, are three girls, lets call them... Strawberry, Glasses, and Blue Eyes and one boy, let's call him BOB.
Strawberry: So guys who liked the book? She flips her Strawberry blond hair.
Glasses: Heh. It was alright.
Blue Eyes: It was kind of confusing but okay, I guess I'm just sort of indifferent.
Strawberry: Me, too.
BOB: I really liked it, actually.
Strawberry looks at Boy Who Walked Away who is right next to him. He's wearing a dark gray Polo, jeans, and flip-flops he wears almost everyday (so I've noticed, sue me!). He's seated in a relaxed, imposing position with his arms crisscrossed against his chest that I could imagine a king of a mighty land could pull off. Strawberry: So what about you, (insert his name here)?
Boy Who Walked Away: (Makes a bit of a face.) I hated it. It was completely a waste of not only my time but of everyone elses time that had to read this god for saken book!
I should mention my mouth had begun on the pretence of forming a disbelieving O by this point and my eyes had become involuntarily shrewd-like. I don't care who the person is if anybody bashes a book that I really took a delight in reading right in front of my like that I will not be afraid to speak my mind. Oh shall had keepith thou mouth shut and haveth become invisible.
Strawberry caught my look and possibly remembering how much I had told her while reading the book how I really liked it, asked me next for my opinion of the book.
Strawberry: Have anything to say to that, (insert my name here)? DO you want to say anything against (Boy Who Walked Away)?
I should have said no and maybe I would have if not for Boy Who Walked Away had looked straight at me where I was sitting right next to him (he moved his desk next to me! I did not desk stalk him!) and give me a smirk-grin that reminded me a little creepily of It Started with A Kiss Zhi shu when he thinks Xiang Qin is just a little dimwit with nothing to say and no guts to speak against him then Boy Who Walked Away leaned against his chair with both arms relaxing under his head and said,
Boy Who Walked Away: Yes, (insert my name here) what do you think?
That's when I the sheep puffed up with all the pride I had and blew it in the face of the lion He Who Walked Away.
Me: I really liked reading this book, actually. I said with a bit of a prissy tone.
Boy Who Walked Away: Really? (one eyebrow up the other down)
Me: Yes, really.
Boy Who Walked Away challenged me: Okay, why did you like it so much?
Me: I loved the way the words just flew out of the page... in a continuous stream.
Boy Who Walked Away interrupted: She complained too much.
Me: She was trying to get her point across... and to tell you the truth the way many of the women in Muslim societies are treated like -like property!- is a point that should not be taken light-
BOB: You're a feminist, aren't you?
Me: A little bit, I guess. Especially when I'm passionate about something in particular-
BOB: Yeah, you seem like it...
Boy Who Walked Away said to BOB: Shut up. You're not in this.
Everyone in the group besides myself and Boy Who Walked Away gape at him.
Boy Who Walked Away: One of the other things that also annoyed me: She blamed her religion for almost everything! I was like: Really?! Are you serious!? This woman is unbelievable!
Me: She was at a lost for most of her life! ...Religion can seriously mess up a person if pressured too much! I felt connection to her while reading this book... be-because-because I also have felt doubts of G-God and the devil-
Boy Who Walked Away: Her story was incredibly too long!
Me: But-!
Boy Who Walked Away: It put me to sleep and I for one hope I never have to meet her one day because surely I would have to slap some sense into her and for having me read her terrible novel!
Me: But-!
Boy Who Walked Away: And what was with that mother of hers?! Letting herself being beaten by her mom. Hell, if my mother ever did that to me-
Me frustrated: (insert his name here) I can't believe you!
We were both yelling (he, letting his overbearing, arrogant self unleash and me, just a loud speaker)and the whole class including the teacher had stopped talking amongst themselves and were now staring at me and Boy Who Walked Away fight. My teacher, in fact, was looking clearly amused and a bit fascinated. The woman probably had never seen two teenagers get into such a heated fight over a book before.
Finally the teacher announced that all the groups were to write together a summary of the book they read and read it to the rest of the class that didn't read it. Our group managed to do this while Boy Who Walked Away kept contradicting my opinions and making me flustered and more frustrated the more. No matter what happen between us I would always become a weak minded sort around him and he knew he was weakening my stance on the book but I refused to let him win so I kept on fighting him.
Once we finished the summary that was very short and did not do the book justice whatsoever Strawberry asked all of us who wanted to go up in front of the class and read it.
Glasses: Ugh. Not me.
Blue Eyes: I rather not.
Strawberry: Well I don't want to do it.
BOB: I'll do it!
Strawberry, Glasses, Blue Eyes: NO!
Strawberry: You were in detention for the past three weeks during school-
Glasses: I doubt you read the whole book, BOB.
BOB shrugs.
Boy Who Walked Away: Whatever, I'll do it. (Takes the paper with summary from Strawberry.
Strawberry: Uh, NO. Definitely not you. (Takes the paper back)
Boy Who Walked Away: What? Why not?
Strawberry: You've spent the whole class hour telling everyone how much you hate this book.
Blue Eyes: You'll probably end up forgetting about the summary and go up there and start bashing the book.
Boy Who Walked Away: That's ridiculous.
Me: I'll do it if no one is going to do it.
Strawberry: Okay. (She gives me the paper)
I start to get up but then feel a hand on my shoulder pulling me down into my chair. It's his hand.
Boy Who Walked Away: Oh no way! If I can't go up there she can't go up there! That's completely unfair!
Strawberry: I think it's safe to say that (insert my name here) is more reliable than you, (insert his name here).
Boy Who Walked Away: Biased!
Strawberry: No your biased!
Boy Who Walked Away: Yes, and (insert my name here) is, too!
BOB: I said I'll do it!
Boy Who Walked Away and Strawberry: NO!
It was right around that time that I snuck away from Boy Who Walked Away's vision and hurried to the front of the classroom to give our group's summary.
When Boy Who Walked Away noticed he stood up as well and then...
Crossed him arms against his chest like an imperial lord...
And then...
Leaned against the wall facing adjacent to where I was standing...
Just like he used to do in freshmen year.
Always, always at the beginning of class he did this and would do it throughout class if our teacher in ninth grade didn't tell him to sit. I haven't seen him do this in any of the two classes I have with him so this was the first time he did this for a while.
At that instant I felt like I was in ninth grade again. When these kind of scenarios weren't so rare and completely surprising.
I wanted so badly to walk over to him and slap him for reminding me of the old days... and then I wanted to kiss him for just the same reason.
Thankfully I still have some tiny grip to reality enough to not ever do that!
After swallowing the hard clump is my heart I began to read under his shrewd gaze. I made a point to reading every single word and not add anything to it just in case Boy Who Walked Away noticed and tried using that for material for another fight. Once I was finished the teacher, obviously thinking about my and Boy Who Walked Away's fight earlier asked me then:
Teacher: So, do you have anything to add to the book. Was there anything you liked about the book, hated... what?
This woman wanted me killed.
I began repeating the reasons to her of what I told my group and mostly Boy Who Walked Away.
That was when Boy Who Walked Away started shaking his head at me from across the room.
He was just so distracting! Finally before I could finish saying all my reasons I got aggravated enough to throw up my arms and say:
Me: DO you have something to add to the book, (insert his name here)?
Boy Who Walked Away: (Grinning and smirking.) Absolutely.
Me: Go ahead then!
I made my way across the room and right next to him where my chair was but instead of sitting I chose to stand up and look at him condescendingly with my arms crossed, too. A minute passed by before I became distracting to him when I started to shake my head at his views.
But like always he was much smarter and clever.
He stopped in mid-sentence on his rant...
Turned his whole body to look at me...
And said...
Boy Who Walked Away: You. (He pointed at me with his finger even though I was right next to him.) You sit down. (And then pointed at my seat.)
Me: (Speechless with my mouth agape.)
I push him. And grudgingly sit down with no worthy comeback.
And now we haven't really talked since.
But today we got new assigned seats and somehow... in Fate's dimented mind... Boy Who Walked Away sits in back of me now!
Fate just doesn't want me to get over him even whenever I have such an appealing new crush now...